Alright. Here we go folks! Day 1, the beginning, Genesis, ground zero. As of right now, I have flown 1 hour and waited to fly for 5 hours. The flight was on a little baby plane called a Dash somethingsomething or other. Let’s just say it was a glorified station wagon with wings. If I wasn’t already sleep-deprived from anxiety and last minute preparations, I certainly am now.
I have another 5 hours in Toronto, and I don’t think I can leave the airport. =[ Even if I could, there’s no one here to say that it’s ok or not. And I’d rather risk not seeing the city than missing my flight. I am convinced no one actually works for the airlines here.
The Toronto airport is very nice though. Artsy-Canadian-y. There’s a life-size Moose with a uniform on. He’s now my iPod’s background. Go Canada.
However, whatever cute charm I had at Cleveland Hopkins, is gone now. Maybe it’s because I’m obviously American, or most people I see here are foreign themselves. Regardless, they are far less likely to humor me for whatever reason.
There is a flight leaving from my gate before me for Beijing. I’m trying to remember the little Chinese I’ve learned to listen in. So far here’s what I’ve gathered: Teen girl: “I don’t have……” ?????? I know, definitely putting those 4 semesters of Chinese to use.
This is a very unorganized and random post.
What is weirdest for me in all of this so far is the alone part of it. I don’t have anyone to talk to or explore with. I don’t know how many more times I can pace around the airport before someone calls security. I’ve never really traveled alone before, let alone flown. I realized that my ease at many things people fear comes from my need to be fearless for my loved ones. Weird. And so I find myself hosting a number of fascinating dialogues in my head as I attempt to entertain myself through the forced solitude found in crowds of strangers, self-imposed and enforced, of course.
Why can I be mere feet from you, for hours, and we’ll never make eye contact, acknowledge the other is there, except to perhaps corral our baggage more closely. So strange, yet so familiar.
I want to see the city, but I don’t think I can leave. And I definitely had deja vu about this moment, and my regret at not seeing Toronto. Alas.
I am truly exhausted and can’t wait to sleep on the plane.